Romance Gone Wrong: Five Tips to Jazz up the Love-Life in Dating
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“Nothing turns a date off more than seeing his or her partner showing up looking as though they could care less about being there. I recall several times during my active dating, I would spend perhaps 30 minutes getting ready for a date and not really invest in myself or put forth the effort of “getting super-hot.” Now, I know why I did this. At that time, I was not ready for a serious relationship and was merely dating just to have something to do. I must admit, I am very ashamed of this. Once I finally decided that I was ready to “find someone” I used all five of these tips to surprise my lover” ~ Dr. Gayle Joplin Hall.
When dating couples become at ease within a relationship, they sometimes run the risk of dropping off the flame of romance that connects one to the other. The beginning stages of any romantic relationship usually involve an amorous demonstration of affection and care towards each other and much of the time, an intense attachment for the other’s presence. But as the relationship jogs along, the course of romance might get paler. Now that you’re getting more secure with each other, the necessity to make an impression and to amaze one another may not be as exciting as it was in the beginning.
If you feel your love-life in dating is currently on the rocks, with less spice and excitement then it’s probably high time for you to start doing simple things to fetch the “old flame” back and to jazz back up the spark that you may have ignored. Spice things up; keep the connection alive and thrilling all the way through. Do you want to know how to do this? Sure you do!
Five Tips to Jazz up the Love-Life in Dating
- Go back to your dating schedules and do this at least once a week. As an alternative of just sitting at home watching television, you may want to consider going out to new and fun places that both of you have never been before. Be adventurous and spontaneous. Keep the jive and enjoy the ride. There are so many things both of you can discover while you are on the road.
- Don’t forget to give compliments. A compliment is one of the sweetest things that you could say to your partner during the day. This will make your partner feel good about him or herself. Add a hint of thrill every time you say and express it – give him or her a swift kiss, a teasing touch, or whisper it softly and closely to your partner’s ear – that will surely seal the package! Remember that technique seems to work wonders.
- Physical affection is a must at all times. You may greet your partner with a hug and a kiss every time you meet. Or you may also rub his or her head or massage his shoulders as you are watching a movie together. You may also incorporate sexy actions as you do these things to add up some hype to the affection you are conveying to your partner. This will also be a very good tool to measure your partner’s mood. If you are out in public places together, do not forget to hold hands. Holding hands may be a very simple thing, but it is very powerful as a way of securing one another and letting each other feel your warmth with a sexy touch.
- Surprise your partner at times. Just do something that your partner does not expect you to do on that ordinary day. For men, you can send flowers at work. For women, you can cook and set up a romantic dinner rather than eating out. These little passionate gestures will put the sweetest smile on your loved one’s face.
- Be adventurous, but not wild. Doing wild things can absolutely stun your partner and can turn him or her off rather than actually giving the surprising delight you’ve probably intended. It takes a certain personality to appreciate the “wild side.” Be adventurous by adding a nice amount of spontaneity in the process. Do a little tweak on the usual routines that you do with your partner when pursuing romance. This will surprise your partner in a good way and will intensify the course of your relationship as well.
Do not settle for anything less when it comes to your love life. Do the most romantic thing you can think of because this will jazz up the relationship and intimacy shared with each other, leading to a happier and contented life that is lived with a lot of love.
Divorced and Dating. Seven Tips on How to Get Back Into the Scene Again
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“Divorce sucks. It just sucks and there is no other way to say it. My parents have been married for almost 60 years ansd I always thought this would be my life, too. But it just hasn’t worked out that way. My first marriage lasted 17 years and ended abruptly when my husband confessed an affair he had been having for the past five years. He thought I should forgive him and our lives should just “carry on.” He could breathe easier because he had gotten this off his chest. I was crushed and devastated. For the first time in 18 years, I was in the dating market again” ~ Dr. Gayle Joplin Hall.
Divorce is one very tough situation to go through. It’s very stressful and tiring, both in the physical, as well as in the emotional aspect, for two people.
Many would ask when is the perfect moment to start dating after a divorce. The answer totally depends on the individual and how he or she manages to cope with the healing process. One thing you should keep in mind is that it is important to take your time in the process of healing. Enjoy being single for quite a while, so that you can concentrate on your life, your goals, and your future plans before you start seeing someone new. By doing so, you can assure that you already have given yourself enough time to let all the difficulties of the past relationship subside and you can declare, without hesitation, that you have moved on and are ready to meet someone new.
When you’re officially and legally divorced and finally back to that single status, you are now in the best position to get going in life. However, it is important not to put yourself in the singles market in a desperate way and not to rush into new relationships. Maximize your time to do things right, at the proper time, with the correct person, and with the most appropriate feeling.
Since dating after divorce is considered as one difficult, yet extremely exciting new phase of one’s life, you should be guided on how you must do things in a proper way as you get back into the scene again.
Here are seven dating tips that you can follow after your divorce:
Make sure you have already started your social life before you start to date again.
Go to parties, meet old friends and make new friends first. Perhaps you should give social media a try and then choose one suitable person to date. Remember not to show your impatience and immediately date that first person you have come across. This will send a wrong signal to the one you are planning to date at a later time.
Prepare!
Prepare yourself by going to the gym and eating healthy. These things will help you get ready to show the world the new you and the new positive life you are forging ahead. Remember that if you are putting yourself in the singles market, you have to stand out and be an attractive person among the others.
When you go out on a date, do not talk about your past.
This is an intense mistake you should do so! Do not talk about your ex or how frustrated you are in your life, because that will turn-off your date and for you. In return will become a total date failure. If you want to vent about your past and get angry, do not go and bust it all out on your date. See a professional Lifestyle Coach, Counselor, or Therapist, instead.
What you must do is to carry a great attitude about your life and think about how lucky you are for another chance that you get to seek for a new person who might be out there just waiting for you. Perhaps you will fall in love and find true love this next time.
Do not compare your ex to your new date.
You have to leave all bad and bitter memories behind. Do not make the mistake of comparing your new date with your ex. They are two different individuals. In addition, comparing can also spoil the new relationship you are building with your date and can even spoil your self-respect, as well.
Don’t just settle on one source on dating.
Dating sites have been very common dating matchmaking these days. With one single click, you can easily get a list of people who are computed as your match. Why not be your own personal matchmaker? Go out, explore and meet new people personally. That will be more fun and you will also get the chance of seeing that individual right in the eyes. Additionally, you can see how that person carries himself around new people. The impression that you will get when seeing someone in person is different than those you see only through profiles in online dating sites.
Don’t waste any of your time with people who are not ready to give you a hand.
Your best friends are the most supportive people you can go to. Make use of their support to search for a new date. New-date searching is one challenging quest for you, so use all the support and resources you can have.
Make sure that it feels right.
When you choose someone to seriously date, make sure that it feels good. Remember that in order for you to enjoy fully the advantages of going out on a date with a new person, you must have already let go of your past. You must be able to see yourself extremely happy with the one you are with right now.
These are seven quick tips that you can bring into play so you can enjoy a wonderful dating experience after divorce. Just remember that you need to meet people out and about. Smile, be friendly, flirt a little at appropriate times, go to parties and mingle, and ask your friends for help and advice. Put yourself out there. Happy dating!
He/She Left Me and I Can’t Quit Crying: What’s Wrong With Me?
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“Every time I have broken up, I thought my world was ending. Except for one time, it was me who did the ‘breaking up’ and even then, it hurt. It is not pleasant to tell another person you do not want to be with them or that you have made the wrong selection for a mate. In fact, it sucks to be the bearer of bad news. But, with each and every break-up, I have learned and grown. Additionally, something or someone better – even growth in myself – was always waiting on the other side of the fence for me” ~ Dr. Gayle Joplin Hall.
It is never easy when a relationship comes to an end. Whether you wanted it or not, whatever the reason behind the break-up, this can turn your world upside down. Break-ups can cause you a lot of emotional pain. You can spend the whole night staying up, crying and thinking what went wrong. Sometimes, even though it has been a year or two, the pain still feels so fresh. One reason why it is so hard to move on is because of your many expectations. Remember the day you met your partner? You start to remember all the wonderful plans, the hopeful dreams you made and the promise of fulfilling all of them together in the future. All of those are annihilated by separation. All kinds of painful and unsettling feelings can be triggered by break-ups. What began as a high note of hope for the future will end up with profound grief, stress and resentment.
It is not easy to recover from a break-up. However it is important to keep reminding yourself that you can and you will move on. You just have to be patient with yourself because healing takes time. Here are four ways on how to cope with break-ups:
- It is quite normal to feel a lot of different emotions in you. You will feel miserable, mad, confused, frustrated and exhausted. All of these feelings can be a bit intense. You will feel a lot anxious on what the future holds for you. Acknowledge all these emotions and be assured that as the time goes by it will eventually lessen. For a limited period of time, you will feel and perform at a less than optimal level and you must permit yourself to this. You should realize that it takes time to heal. And you have to remember that you do not have to go through all of these alone. Share what you feel to a Professional Lifestyle Coach who specializes in Relationships and also, your family and friends. Unloading yourself to someone you can trust can lessen the burden that you feel. If you isolate yourself, you will only increase the level of emotional and physical stress that you are feeling. Do not be afraid to seek help when you need to.
- Separation or breakup involves multiple losses. You lose the one you share your dreams and experiences with. You lose someone who supports you, be it socially, emotionally, financially and intellectually. So allow yourself to grieve over these losses. Sometimes we try to shield ourselves from the pain that these losses can cause; it is understandable because it is scary to make yourself even more vulnerable to the pain. If you always fear the pain and treat it as unbearable, you will not be able to go through it. But you have to remember that an important part of the healing process is actually grieving. No matter how difficult and strong your grief is, it will surely not last forever.
- While you are going through the grieving process, do not forget to reach out to your support system. Again, seek the help and guidance of a Lifestyle Coach and then talk with your trusted friend or family member and they can help ease the pain that you feel. Surround yourself with positive people and it will work wonders for you.
- More than ever, taking care of yourself in the midst of this life-changing and emotional wringer event in your life, is the most important thing that you should always remember. You can be left psychologically and physically vulnerable by the negative strain of separation. Treat and learn to nurture yourself at all times. This is one of the valuable lessons you will learn from this painful moment of your life.
The healing process is not achieved overnight, so be honest with yourself and try not to think of whom to blame or dwell on your mistakes. Time will come when you will be able to look back into your past relationship and take it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself rather than a dreadful past that you want to escape. And when the right time comes, you will eventually learn to love again.
