Baby Makes Three – Help!: Six Tips For Coping With My Partner and New Baby

“It has been more than 15 years since I have had a new baby in the house.  Nonetheless, I distinctly remember taking care of a newborn, feeling exhausted, and trying to keep up with household chores, all while still going to college both day and night.  Somehow, I thought that I could handle it all.  Boy, was I wrong!  When there is a new baby in the house, many adjustments must be made.  Quite often, the partner feels left out.  With just a few tweaks, a newborn’s arrival can be a complete bundle of joy for the entire family”  ~ Dr. Gayle Joplin Hall.

Having a baby for the very first time gives a woman a multitude of emotions.  She may feel  excited, overwhelmed, scared, or worried.  Added to these high-strung emotions are the struggles that come with all those emotions, including learning the steps on parenting.  And please, let’s not forget to mention all the laundry, folding, and chores that must be done in little time.

The baby must always be the top priority from day to night. Constant attention must be given, from feedings to diaper changing.  Amidst the busy schedule that a new mother has to deal with, she also must remember to keep the adult relationship with her partner equally as important.  You might be thinking, how on earth are we supposed to adjust to these new demands and still find time to nurture our own relationship.  So how does one have romance with a new baby in the house?  Who has time?  Who feels like it?  Who cares?   

Six Tips For Coping With My Partner and New Baby

  • Make time for each other.  This can be done at least once a week on a routine schedule.  Call in a babysitter or ask your mom or sister to watch the baby for the night. This way, you can both take a rest from all the stress that you have come across throughout the entire week and focus spending some time together with nothing to worry about.  Reminisce the time when it was just the two of you snuggling together.  Go to a movie or head to your favorite restaurant. You can even try going to the beach and lounging there for a while.  Whatever date idea you have in mind, go and spend some time with your partner. What is important is that you prioritize some moments alone with your partner to rekindle the romantic flame.
  • Steal moments when baby is sleeping or having a nap.  Since newborns sleep most of the time, simply use this as an advantage to have a romantic stroll as you push your baby’s stroller. The fresh air from the outdoors is good for your child while sleeping.  It also affords you and your partner the benefit of a lovely walk and at the same time, the chance to talk with each other.  If you are inside the house and too tired to have a walk, you can also cuddle with each other on the couch or give each other a massage.  By spending time together, you can make use of the quiet time wisely by giving time to listen to each other, holding hands, and just simply resting together.
  • Show your affection and sweet little nothings. Affection and sweet little nothings must never be forgotten even if you are too busy.  The simple gestures of holding hands or giving your partner a kiss in the middle of your busy baby schedule will always lighten up the mood.  If your partner is going to work, take a little of your time to write a love note and insert it in the briefcase.  Keep in mind that these simple acts of showing your love and kindness do not need a lot of effort or time.  However, they will never fail to show and convey to your partner how much you love and care for him or her.
  • Do something sexy.  Experiment doing something new and sexy, even if it is only weekly.  Sneak while your baby is asleep, and go have sex in a different room, other than the bedroom.  There’s no rule that says sex can only be enjoyed at night.  Why not try a little quickie in the middle of the day? Or, perhaps you can have also a quick, intimate routine in the morning by showering together.  These are just a few examples to elevate your mood for the busy day that you may be facing.
  • Create a baby-free love area.  Fashion a specific area for your love nest.  No diaper changing allowed!  This designated love-zone will become very special since you can just relax with your partner as your baby is quietly resting. This will be the perfect place where you can spend quality time enjoying some loving with your playmate. You can give and accept sweet, tender  backrubs, hold hands, and get naughty in your baby-free love area.
  • Five minute bond. Time is of great essence, especially when you have a baby who is in constant need of your attention and care. You might not notice when you start drowning from all of the things you do for your baby, all of which may leave your partner feeling a bit left out. That is why it is very essential to spend at least five minutes of your day to bond with your partner. Take time to ask him or her how the day was. This can be done during your dinner time, while you are putting baby down for sleep, or before you both go to sleep. This way you both get updated on each other’s activities and you will recognize each other’s efforts, as well.

Keep the sparks lit so you can enjoy each other, hold hands, and make love like you did prior to having three people in the house.  This will help to bond you even tighter than before.  Just simply bring back the basics that you both did before the baby came into your lives. Though this might be a little tricky, it is necessary.  You will never regret the time spent for both your partner and the new baby.


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