“Even to this day, it is difficult to discuss with some people and provide vivid descriptions what really happens in a domestic violent situation. This is because some do not want to hear the truth and the facts. More than ever before, I feel it is my duty to tell, to inform, to educate, anyone and everyone, who will listen. This is my ‘job' and calling from God.” — Dr. Gayle J. Hall.
Have you ever noticed a woman in the grocery store or at work who has a black eye, marks on her neck, or seems extremely anxious for no apparent reason and wondered why that might be? Quite possibly, she may be a victim of domestic violence. Oddly enough, just last night, my son and his colleague were at their apartment when a young woman came over with her baby in her arms, asking to use the phone. She had been beaten up by her boyfriend. She dialed 911. Before the police arrived, the abuser tried to cause trouble with my son. Fortunately, the police arrived and hauled the batterer off to jail. That telephone call may have saved a life.
Domestic violence is the principal cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 to 44 years old, more than all other forms of violence, including muggings, burglary, and automobile accidents. Many victims of domestic violence seek treatment for their physical abuse before meeting their emotional needs. Women may seek help for physical injuries from a hospital or medical clinic. The emotional and psychological abuse is ongoing and may last long after the relationship has ended.
Physical abuse during domestic violence may include any of the following; Choking, biting, kicking, throwing, slapping, hitting, punching, breaking bones, confinement or restraining, assaulting with a knife or firearm, raping, forced group sex, or sexual bondage. This list is not comprehensive.
Emotional and psychological abuse are very closely related, but they are not the same. A good definition of emotional abuse is the humiliation and intimidation of another person. Examples of emotional abuse in domestic violence by your partner may include, but are not limited to; name-calling, insulting remarks, verbally abuses your children or your pets, threatens to leave you or threatens to make you leave, governs all the money and decisions in the household, prevents you from working or seeing your friends, isolates you from your family members, restricts you from talking on the phone, refuses to take you out in public or socialize with you, criticizes or belittles you in public or in person, manipulates you with lies, tells you that you are worthless and cannot make it without him, accuses you of having affairs, ridicules your beliefs or thoughts, tries to change the person you are, frequently ignores your requests and feelings, withholds sex or intimacy, or intimidates you through body language or facial expression.
Psychological abuse occurs when a person's rational and emotional thinking is undesirably impacted due to extreme and repeated measures of power imbalance. Another way of stating this would be; emotional abuse that is so intimidating as to cause adverse psychological reactions and impact the person's psyche and psychological health over a long period of time, can be considered psychological abuse. Examples of this may include that the victim of domestic violence suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), panic attacks, depression, or severe anxiety.
Hopefully, by reading this article, you will have gained a more clear understanding of the differences between physical, emotional, and psychological abuse in a domestic violent relationship.
The one constant that will not change is this…a woman will not leave the relationship until she has the support and courage to do so. She cannot just walk out. Domestic violence is a matter of control by the abuser. Please read the first of six articles in this series titled, “Domestic Violence: What It Is – Part One, in a Series of Six.”
Watch for the third article in this series of six on domestic violence titled, “Domestic Violence: Recognizing the Three Phases – Part Three, in a Series of Six.
©Copyright — Gayle Joplin Hall, PhD. All rights reserved worldwide. None of this material may be downloaded or reproduced without written permission from the author.
Domestic violence is not always noticeable. The psychological torture can be long-lasting, decades after the abuse has ceased, depending on the severity of the abuse. Research has shown that physical abuse, although painful during the attack, is most quickly resolved and recovered for the victim, whereas the emotional and psychological abuse is not.
Domestic violence can kill people. Right here in the Dallas area, just recently, a female police officer responded to a 911 call for help. The officer could not wait for back-up, as a child was involved. The brave officer stepped in the line of fire and took the bullet from the batterer and saved the life of a child and the child’s mother. The officer was killed. Now, anyone want to tell me that domestic violence is NOT a serious subject that needs to discussed?
Since I am an expert in this field, I will be writing many articles about domestic violence. I also provide life coaching to guide people to make the best choices for themselves.
If domestic violence is so bad, why don’t women just leave? People ask me this all the time. Counselors and therapists ask me this. The next article will discuss the three phases in the cycle of violence. Be sure to read it. Thank you.
How would you react if you saw a crime of domestic violence in action? Would you step up and get involved or shut your door and turn off your lights? How can we help others realize how serious of a problem this is?
Please leave comments so others can learn from YOU. Thank you!
Shining my love into your world, Dr. Gayle J. Hall